i am lost again..

it had been long time i dint update my blog again..
i alway got nothing to write.

lately,somehow i felt that i am lost in many way.it make me feel so irritating and frust.
i am so lost in many thing,family,friend,study and life.
there are lot of thing i have to do,and many thing i should do.
family..well...i don`t feel wana talk much bout it.
friend,sometime i wondering what should i do to them?and how should i treat them
is the way i treat them right now is the right way??
study,yeah..this year i taking my spm.which is just months to go..i felt so frust and tention.
i affraid that i cant score it.
and life.
somehow i am kind a lifeless now...i feel just wana to sleep for the days and days......

it is now the time for people to lost or blur?

btw.today kartiga called me,she tell me to take her homework and give her.and her sister said she was crying b4 this.and yeah i realize her voice is kinda weird..
i blame myself,i told myself to visit her everyday but i didn`t.
what kind a friend am i?
like someone who has blaming me for not taking care of miss S..
blaming me for not celebrate and never take good care of her during homestay..
yeah everything is just my fault.
and now i blaming myself for not going to visit kartiga everyday.
i quite scare that kartiga will found i am annoying..
i scare her family wouldn`t like i go see kartiga everyday.
i am so useless and she crying because she scare her study will get effect....

lately my life is so dark...yes i need to go back to my hometown...i need some rest.
please....
and thank you