saying goodbye actually is very hard and very easy....

tell goodbye to ur enemy is easy,but telling a goodbye is very hard to ur family is very hard...
tell a forever good bye to my mom....
i cry.....my heart was brake i feel i lost something.....
until know i still feel tat i can see my mom soon,coz she jz go for a travel....
but when i facing to the truth..i feel sad...
sometime i scare to tell ppl tat my mom pass away...
coz i scare....
i scare to face the truth,i scare to heard they say sorry to me.....
is truth when i listening my frenz telling bout her/his mom...i will feel something weird....
but i was jz keep quite....sometime i will say something but they cant understand wat i was telling.....
it is going to b 2 year since my mom pass away....
this two year...i missing all the dishes my mom had cook....
i missing my mom voice....
i still rmb....
when i was still f1 i was afternoon class...
tat day my mom haven pass away...
i was having my lunch and my mom was sitting bside of me...
v talk and talk...
talk bout my sis blog...talk bout my mom sick...
mom had promised to me tat
when i grow up we want go to australia, jepun......and a lot of place....i still rmb....
i missing her...
ok bout my mom topic was end here...
now talk bout my father....
when i small i love to follow my father go every where....
anything i will tell my dad.... but now...
not much...there is something i cant tell...
but nvm....
sometime many sis and bro will feel tat i m rude and i dun love my dad....
yes i know tat i m rude....
yesterday after dinner i slap my own face...
coz i say something was bad....
i feel it is not enuf for me....
i knock my head and pinch my hand too....
i think this alway happen after my mom pass away...
but last year it nvr happen at all.....
k back to my dad...
i know my dad love us...but sometime i dunno how to express my own feeling....
i feel shy....and dunno how to say....
i sacre to express my feeling infront of my bro or sis.......
i scare.....
i feel tat io was pretending.....
actually when i saw my father repairing the pipe and doing the filter
i feel there is a weird feeling in my heart....
i dunno wat is the feeling......
i dunno....
today when i telling goodbye to my dad i feel lonely....i feel dun want m dad go back....
but i know tat is impossible..my dad still nid to work....
i really dunno wat to say.....
i jz feel it is sad to say goodbye to him.....