Friday, October 30, 2009

i am lose and lost..

these day i am totally bore + tire..
want to know?
ofcause...
first monday i have ceramah in skul and the teacher talk bout next year,then after that free time..
library tak buka pula...sedih....
so i went down.i want to draw picture but it hard no table and no chair.and then after that hasanah ask me wana join lukis mural ke tak?
actually i don`t want but in the end i think think think i join je la..kan seronok?
second day tuesday..
start doing mural.we draw draw,but there are many thing make me sad.those people who just pass by keep saying buruk la many thing hurt me..
then until the end then we went to wengying house play play eat eat...
wednesday
this day hasanah and pengawas have to go to the bilik pengawas untuk tolong..haih tak ada leader how?but int the end still got do something then i went home again..
thursday...
this day i go help teacher norliza cause she treat me so good.and i curi curi take some cookie for hasanah dinie izzati nabila sarah die orang makan...the cookie almost finish...
friday today
something make me sad..i have no idea what i will do this kind of idiet stupid thing...
when we start doing mural i starting don`t know what to do....then hasanah ask me go help sarah....then i go do...in the end i feel something wrong...i feel so boring...so i tell hasanah i going to quite....i don`t know...
don`t know why izzati look at me with those kind of eye...
why they just ignore me?
why she ignore me?
am i did something wrong?
i apologize..
but i really don`t know what i did?
so i decided to quite...
after that i sitting alone in the dewan..feel wana cry but i not dare to cry i don`t want
i hate it!
i know behind me sure will got people say i padan muka,saja buat muka masam,somemore many many thing...
i hate it..
so many time i have the mind to kill myself...
including this time...
i feel there is no reason for me to live in this world..
in school no even one friend
in house no one even care bout me..
why don`t i just die?same some money for my sis and bro get more allowence...
why don`t i just dissapear in this world?everyone around me will have no more sad and angry
why don`t i just go to meet my mother in the another side of this world?
but i don`t know what should i do...
i lose and lost myself...

1 comment:

XxPrInCeSS SheLL said...

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T DIED SHUSH! OMG! WTH!